my world (atashi no sekai)

is that okay?

hellooooo!!

thank God it’s saturday

it’s my holiday \m/

actually i have to finish my DSP’s homework and study for PSD exam. and i scheduled those two today. i’ll take 10 minutes for blogging, haha

hmm, last night i and my friends watched movies. Rectoverso by dee. i cried. and after watched that film three of us concluded that we only have 2 main questions in ‘love’ world.

Are you looking for someone to love or someone to love you?

yup. but, in my case i prefer to love someone. but most of woman prefer to be with someone who love them. well, i love someone. and i have a vow. if in this semester i get gap more than 3.5 i will tell him about my feeling. but my friends told me when i ask her what if someone confess his feeling to her “i will appreciate if  he didn’t do that. because i’ll chose friendship rather than any relationship in this world. i don’t want to ruin our friendship that we have.”

i think again. oh ya, she also said “what i’ve been done so he can love me?”

so i’ve been wondering lately. is that okay for us to love someone? even though we don’t know him/her so well. even though we don’t even know his/her favorite food or color. that we don’t know about his/her family. is that okay?

well if it’s not okay, how’s with love at the first glance? i will be so sad if it’s not okay. because i’m in love with you at the first glance. when the first time we met. 28 march 2012 i know that i love you. do you think this love is fake?  so in the end “love at the first glance” it’s not true at all?

in my opinion, it’s okay. but, it will cause a problem when you have a plan to confess. the person that you love will wondering around like what my friend did. they won’t believe. they think this love  it’s not true. or not strong enough to encourage them to believe it. in the end after you confess it, they will runaway from you. it’s not fair isn’t it?

and i heard an opinion “i don’t believe a friendship among girls and boys. because one of them, the girls or the boys, must have a feeling to the other one.” it means friendzone right?

my friend asked me. “if you confess to him, and you’re not hoping an answer in return. so what’s the reason for you to confess?”

actually it’s my selfishness  i just want to be free. i want to be free from this feeling. i want him to know that he’s not alone. he could ask me to help him if he has a trouble. i want to support him.

because to ask him to be mine it’s too much. he’s too good to be with someone like me. 

i cried when saying that to my friend.

as long as he know, i think it’s okay. but, my friend said that once he know, he might not want me to get closer. he will avoid me.

it’ll give me the same result. in the end i can’t support him.

okay.

this is my quote:

Allah will show the way. life is easy, as long as you follow Allah’s way you won’t get lost. the hardest thing to do is to make ourself believe that Allah’s way is better than our way.

oh ya! happy birthday mpok yanti! we love you! hope you all the best :3

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